💞 Couples Therapy Insight: Be the One Who Does What No One Else Will
By: Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
In Wired for Love, Dr. Stan Tatkin emphasizes the importance of creating a secure, resilient "couple bubble"—a mutual space of safety, care, and protection that partners consciously build together. One of the most powerful ideas in the book is this: in a healthy relationship, you should strive to be the person who does for your partner what no one else would.
This doesn’t mean becoming a martyr or abandoning your needs. It means offering a kind of attunement, protection, and emotional presence that says, “I’ve got you. I choose you. I’m on your team—no matter what.”
🛡 What Does That Look Like?
Being the one who does what no one else will means:
Protecting your partner in public and private – even when it’s hard or inconvenient. This includes not throwing them under the bus with friends or family, and defending their dignity in conflict.
Tending to their emotional wounds – not dismissing their triggers, but learning them, soothing them, and helping rewrite the narrative.
Taking radical responsibility – for your role in conflict, for ruptures, and for repair—even when your ego protests.
Offering comfort first, clarity second – because your partner doesn’t need you to solve the problem before they feel seen and safe.
🤝 Why This Matters in Couples Therapy
Often, couples come to therapy caught in a cycle of blame, withdrawal, or reactivity. Each person is waiting for the other to change, to make the first move, to be more gentle, more available, more generous. But the relationship changes most when one person decides to lean in with love and do what others wouldn’t—whether that’s softening in a moment of tension or speaking the hard truth with care.
Therapy helps partners:
Rebuild trust by becoming safe havens for each other
Learn how to co-regulate emotions instead of escalating them
Shift from self-protection to mutual protection
💬 A Reflection for You and Your Partner
Ask each other:
👉 What is something I could do for you that would make you feel like you’re truly not alone in this world?
👉 What does being “your person” mean to you?
You may be surprised by how simple (yet meaningful) the answers can be.
Ready to Deepen Your Bond?
Couples therapy isn’t about deciding who’s right—it’s about creating a space where both people feel chosen, protected, and understood. If you're ready to build the kind of relationship where you're truly each other’s person, I’d be honored to guide you.
🧠 Therapy for the Emotionally Exhausted: How to Reclaim Your Bandwidth
By: Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Do you ever feel like you just can’t take one more thing?
Like your emotional battery is running on empty—even after sleep, time off, or a weekend away?
You may not be burned out in the traditional sense, but you're running low in a different way.
This is emotional exhaustion—a quiet, cumulative drain on your energy, attention, and resilience.
And you're not imagining it. Between global crises, work demands, parenting pressures, caregiving roles, and the constant ping of notifications, modern life asks more of us emotionally than we’re built to handle without support.
💡 What Is Emotional Exhaustion?
Emotional exhaustion is more than just being tired. It’s a state of ongoing emotional depletion—where your capacity to care, process, and stay present starts to feel maxed out. You might notice:
Feeling easily overwhelmed by small things
Increased irritability or numbness
Brain fog or decision fatigue
Dreading social interactions—even with people you love
Guilt for needing space or rest
Trouble relaxing, even when you "have time"
If your default response to new demands is "I literally can't," it may be time to take your emotional health more seriously.
🧘♀️ How Therapy Helps You Reclaim Your Bandwidth
Therapy provides more than just a place to vent. It helps you restore your inner resources by building emotional resilience and learning to protect your bandwidth. Here’s how:
1. Nervous System Regulation
When you're constantly in fight, flight, or freeze mode, your body stays on high alert. Therapy helps you reconnect with your body, calm your nervous system, and find groundedness again.
2. Boundary Setting Without Guilt
Many emotionally exhausted people are deeply caring individuals—which often leads to overgiving. Therapy can help you set boundaries that honor both your empathy and your limits.
3. Emotional Hygiene
Just like brushing your teeth, tending to your emotional well-being is daily maintenance. Therapy helps you build small but powerful habits that prevent emotional overload.
4. Reconnecting With Joy and Rest
Rest isn’t just about doing nothing—it’s about intentional recovery. Therapy can help you give yourself permission to rest, play, and reconnect with what fills you up, not just what drains you.
🌿 You Weren’t Meant to Hold Everything Alone
Being emotionally exhausted doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’ve been strong for too long without enough care in return.
Therapy can be a space where you put down the load and begin to refill. Together, we can explore what’s been weighing on you, what boundaries need strengthening, and what self-compassion looks like in this season of your life.
Ready to Reclaim Your Capacity?
If you’re emotionally exhausted, you don’t have to wait until you “crash” to get support. Let’s work together to restore your bandwidth and help you feel like you again.
☀️ The Psychology of Summer: Why Vacations Are Vital to Your Well-Being
By: Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
As the days stretch longer and the sun lingers later, many of us feel an urge to slow down, travel, or simply take a break. But in a culture that often glorifies hustle and constant productivity, taking a vacation can feel indulgent—or even guilt-inducing.
As a psychologist, I want to challenge that mindset. Time away isn’t just a luxury—it’s essential for mental health. Here’s why:
🧠 1. Rest Is Not Laziness—It’s Recovery
Our brains aren’t built for constant stimulation and output. Just like your body needs rest after physical exertion, your mind needs downtime to process emotions, consolidate learning, and replenish energy. Vacations give the nervous system a much-needed break from stress.
🌴 2. Novelty Rewires the Brain
Whether you're exploring a new city or hiking a local trail, changing your environment introduces novelty, which stimulates dopamine and improves cognitive flexibility. Even short breaks can refresh your mindset and creativity.
👨👩👧👦 3. Connection Strengthens Resilience
Vacations often mean more time with loved ones—or with yourself. Shared experiences create stronger bonds, while solo retreats can reconnect you to your values. Both are proven buffers against burnout, anxiety, and depression.
🛑 4. Boundaries Become Real
Vacations are a built-in boundary. They tell the world (and yourself): I deserve time to rest. Practicing this boundary reminds us that our worth isn’t tied to productivity. That pause can be powerful—and healing.
🗓️ 5. You Don’t Have to Go Far
Not every vacation requires a passport or weeks off work. Even a weekend away, a staycation with no screens, or an intentional “mental health day” can offer real psychological benefits.
This summer, give yourself permission to pause.
Your mind—and your relationships—will thank you.
🌿 Ready to build more balance into your life? Therapy can help you learn to rest without guilt, reconnect with joy, and create rhythms that support your well-being year-round.