🏒 From the Rink to Real Life: The Psychology of Transitioning Out of Sports
For many athletes, sports are more than a game — they’re an identity, a structure, and a community. From early mornings on the ice, field, or court, to the adrenaline of competition, life as an athlete provides a sense of purpose and belonging that’s hard to replicate.
But what happens when it ends? Whether due to injury, graduation, age, or choice — the transition from “athlete” to “regular person” can be one of the hardest psychological shifts to navigate.
⚡ The Identity Void
Athletes often define themselves by performance. Phrases like “I’m a hockey player,” “I’m a runner,” or “I’m a gymnast” become central to who they are. When the sport stops, so does that identity anchor. Many athletes describe this period as feeling untethered — unsure of where to channel their drive and energy.
In psychological terms, this is an identity foreclosure — when one part of the self has dominated for so long that it overshadows all others. Rebuilding a more balanced sense of identity takes time, reflection, and often, grief for the loss of the old one.
💭 The Emotional Hangover
Transitioning out of sports often brings complex emotions: pride for what was accomplished, but also sadness, frustration, and even shame. Some struggle with self-worth when achievements are no longer measured in wins, stats, or medals.
The mind and body crave the structure, goals, and feedback loops sports once provided. Without them, former athletes can experience symptoms that mirror mild withdrawal — mood swings, restlessness, or a loss of motivation.
🌱 Rebuilding Purpose and Routine
One of the best ways to adapt is to transfer skills rather than abandon them. The discipline, focus, teamwork, and resilience that fueled performance are equally powerful in other areas — career, relationships, and personal growth.
Creating new routines can help fill the gap sports once held:
Join a recreational league for fun and connection (without the pressure)
Set physical goals that aren’t about competition — like a local 5K or yoga practice
Volunteer or mentor younger athletes — giving purpose to your experience
Reconnect with what brought you joy before your sport
These aren’t replacements for competition — they’re bridges toward a more integrated identity.
🧠 The Role of Psychological Support
Working with a sport or performance psychologist can help former athletes make sense of this transition. Therapy can provide space to process the loss, explore values beyond performance, and create a new vision for what fulfillment looks like in this next chapter.
If you’re an athlete (or former athlete) struggling with this transition, know this: you haven’t lost who you are — you’re expanding who you are. The same drive that made you great in sport can be the foundation for what comes next.
Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Now accepting new patients in Ohio and via telehealth.
Insurance accepted: Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem BCBS, United Healthcare, and others.
Learning to Live with the "What Ifs" of Parenthood
By Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake, replaying your child’s day and wondering “Am I doing enough?” or “What if something happens?”—you’re not alone.
Those quiet, late-night thoughts often aren’t about your child at all; they’re about the deep uncertainty that comes with loving someone more than life itself.
That’s the paradox of parenting: the more you love, the more vulnerable you feel.
Our Minds Seek Control—But Parenting Defies It
Existential anxiety shows up when our instinct to protect collides with the truth that we can’t control everything.
So we overthink, over-schedule, over-worry.
We build routines to feel safe.
We scroll for parenting tips, hoping to find the “right” way.
But the antidote isn’t more control—it’s tolerating uncertainty with compassion.
Three Ways to Soften Existential Anxiety
Shift from “What if?” to “Even if.”
Instead of spiraling into What if something goes wrong? try Even if challenges come, I’ll meet them with presence and love.
This small language shift builds emotional resilience.Stay rooted in the ordinary.
The antidote to existential fear is presence. Notice the warmth of a hug, the sound of your child’s laughter, the light in their eyes when they tell a story. These are the moments that tether us to meaning.Revisit your values—not your fears.
Ask, What matters most in how I show up as a parent today? Acting from values (not anxiety) turns fear into purpose.
The Truth: You’re Not Supposed to Feel Peace All the Time
Parenthood isn’t meant to feel calm and certain—it’s meant to feel alive.
The fear, the tenderness, the ache of watching your children grow—it’s all evidence that you’re engaged in one of life’s deepest love stories.
When we stop trying to outthink uncertainty, we begin to experience the beauty of being here now.
About Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of The Merthe-Grayson Center for Psychology and Wellness in Ohio. She helps parents, couples, and high-achieving individuals navigate emotional challenges and relationships with compassion and clarity.
Dr. Merthe-Grayson is currently accepting new patients and is in-network with Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, United Healthcare, and others.
Learn more or schedule an appointment at drjennmerthegrayson.com.
When Parenting Awakens Our Existential Anxiety
By: Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
There’s a quiet kind of anxiety that most parents don’t talk about—not the daily worry about grades, screen time, or soccer tryouts, but the deeper unease that slips in during quiet moments. It’s the ache that surfaces when you watch your child grow taller, realize another year has passed, or feel the weight of knowing you can’t protect them from everything.
That’s existential anxiety—the awareness that life is fleeting, that control is limited, and that love always carries loss somewhere inside it. Parenting has a way of waking that part of us up.
Why Parenting Brings It to the Surface
When you become a parent, you suddenly have something (and someone) so precious that the fragility of life becomes impossible to ignore. Each stage—first steps, middle school independence, driver’s permits—reminds you that time moves forward whether you’re ready or not.
Parenting forces us to confront life’s biggest questions:
Am I doing enough?
What will happen to them when I’m gone?
How do I live fully while also keeping them safe?
These are not “neurotic” anxieties—they’re profoundly human ones. They remind us that love and uncertainty are intertwined.
How Existential Anxiety Shows Up in Parenthood
You might not name it as existential, but it often looks like:
Over-controlling or over-preparing (to ease the fear of the unknown)
Feeling guilty for missing moments, even when you’re doing your best
Emotional spikes when your child reaches a milestone (“How did we get here already?”)
A sense of disconnection or numbness—because feeling everything feels like too much
These are subtle signs that something deep in you is wrestling with impermanence.
Moving Through, Not Away From It
The goal isn’t to eliminate existential anxiety—it’s to learn to live with it gracefully. A few ways to start:
Name what’s happening. Sometimes simply acknowledging, “This is my anxiety about time and loss,” brings relief.
Anchor in the present moment. Grounding in your child’s laughter, their messy room, or the smell of dinner cooking can reconnect you to now—the only place life actually happens.
Create meaning. Existential therapy reminds us that meaning is the antidote to anxiety. Ask yourself: What kind of parent do I want to be today, in this season?
Let joy and grief coexist. Every stage your child grows into requires you to release the one before. Allow both emotions to live side by side.
The Gift Hidden Inside Existential Anxiety
When we stop fighting existential anxiety, it often transforms into gratitude. It reminds us that time is precious, connection is sacred, and that the ordinary moments—morning coffee with your teen before school, late-night talks, laughter in the car—are the ones that matter most.
Parenting doesn’t just grow our children; it grows us. It calls us to face life’s impermanence with tenderness, to love anyway, and to keep showing up—knowing that the ache we feel is proof of how deeply we care.
About Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of The Merthe-Grayson Center for Psychology and Wellness in Ohio. She specializes in helping parents, couples, and high-achieving individuals navigate emotional challenges, relationships, and identity transitions with clarity and compassion.
Dr. Merthe-Grayson is now accepting new patients for both individual and couples therapy and is in-network with Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, United Healthcare, and others.
To learn more or schedule a consultation, email jmg@drjennmerthegrayson.com