Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/16/25 Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/16/25

🎄 When the Holidays Bring More Pressure Than Peace: Parenting and Mental Health

By: Dr. Jenn M.G., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, magic, and togetherness—but for many parents, they can also be a time of stress, comparison, and emotional overload. Between school events, family expectations, financial pressures, and trying to “make memories,” it’s easy to lose sight of your own mental well-being.

The Myth of the “Perfect” Holiday

Social media can make it seem like everyone else is creating picture-perfect moments—matching pajamas, glowing lights, and endless smiles. But perfection is rarely the goal our kids actually need from us. What they crave most is connection, presence, and a sense of safety.
If you find yourself tense, over-scheduled, or stretched thin, remember: your children will remember how it felt to be with you more than how things looked.

Managing Emotional Overload

The holidays can stir up old family dynamics, financial worries, or grief for those we’ve lost. For parents, this emotional layering can lead to irritability, burnout, or guilt for not “doing it right.”
Try a few grounding practices:

Take a few deep breaths before entering a crowded room or family gathering.
Build in transition time after social events so your kids (and you) can decompress.
Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What do I need right now?”

Modeling Emotional Regulation for Kids

Children learn emotional regulation by watching us. When you pause instead of snapping, express that you need a break, or admit that something feels hard—you’re giving your child permission to be human too.
A quick repair (“I was overwhelmed and raised my voice. Let’s start again.”) teaches more resilience than a flawless day ever could.

Reclaiming What Matters

Ask yourself:

What traditions actually bring my family joy?
What could I let go of this year to make space for calm and connection?
How do I want my kids to feel when they think back on this season?

Often, scaling back expectations is the most loving thing you can do—for your family and your mental health.

✨ Remember: The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You’re modeling emotional health every time you choose presence over pressure, connection over chaos, and authenticity over appearances.

Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
Licensed Clinical Psychologist | Founder, The Merthe-Grayson Center for Psychology and Wellness
Now accepting new patients — in person and via telehealth.
In-network with Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem BCBS, United Healthcare, and others.

Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/15/25 Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/15/25

🧠 Pressure Isn’t the Enemy: How to Harness Anxiety for Peak Performance

By: Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

If you’re an athlete, you know that feeling.
The pregame nerves. The pounding heart. The tightening in your chest before a big play.

We often label that sensation as anxiety — something to fight, calm down, or make disappear. But what if that very energy could be the key to unlocking your best performance?

⚡ The Truth About Performance Anxiety

Anxiety is your body’s activation system — it’s what sharpens focus, increases alertness, and prepares your muscles to move. In moderation, it’s not a problem; it’s fuel.

The issue isn’t anxiety itself — it’s our interpretation of it. When we think “something’s wrong with me” because we’re anxious, the body’s helpful activation starts to spiral into self-doubt.

Instead, athletes who thrive under pressure learn to see that same physiological response — the adrenaline, the butterflies — as a sign that they’re ready.

It’s not anxiety, it’s energy. Your body is gearing up for game time.

🧩 The Zone Between Calm and Chaos

There’s a sweet spot between being too relaxed and too overwhelmed — psychologists call it the optimal zone of arousal (Yerkes-Dodson Law). When you hit that middle zone, your body is activated but your mind remains clear.

This is what athletes often describe as flow:

Time slows down
Movements feel automatic
Focus narrows to just the task

The key is learning what your personal zone feels like and how to get there intentionally.

🏋️‍♀️ How to Harness the Pressure

Pressure moments are unavoidable — playoffs, tryouts, key shots, penalty kicks, the final lap. Instead of trying to “calm down,” train yourself to reframe and regulate:

1️⃣ Reframe the feeling.
Instead of “I’m nervous,” say “I’m ready.” Language shapes physiology. Studies show that labeling anxiety as excitement keeps heart rate and focus optimized.

2️⃣ Breathe on purpose.
Try a centering breath: inhale for 4, hold for 2, exhale for 6. It lowers tension but keeps your energy high enough to perform.

3️⃣ Use pre-performance routines.
Rituals (stretching, deep breath, visualization, cue words) create familiarity in unpredictable moments. They tell your brain, “I’ve been here before.”

4️⃣ Focus on controllables.
Effort, attitude, body language — these are always under your control. When pressure rises, anchor to what’s stable.

5️⃣ Review and recover.
After the game, process — don’t punish. Reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what you’ll try next time. That’s how resilience builds.

🧠 From Threat to Challenge

Elite performers learn to interpret pressure as a challenge state, not a threat state.

A threat says: “What if I fail?”
A challenge says: “Let’s see what I can do.”

That tiny shift in mindset changes hormonal and neural responses — leading to more efficient oxygen flow, faster reaction times, and sharper focus.

Performance anxiety doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care.
And with the right tools, that same energy can become your competitive advantage.

Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Now accepting new patients in Ohio and via telehealth.
Insurance accepted: Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem BCBS, United Healthcare, and others.

Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/14/25 Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson 10/14/25

🏒 From the Rink to Real Life: The Psychology of Transitioning Out of Sports

For many athletes, sports are more than a game — they’re an identity, a structure, and a community. From early mornings on the ice, field, or court, to the adrenaline of competition, life as an athlete provides a sense of purpose and belonging that’s hard to replicate.

But what happens when it ends? Whether due to injury, graduation, age, or choice — the transition from “athlete” to “regular person” can be one of the hardest psychological shifts to navigate.

⚡ The Identity Void

Athletes often define themselves by performance. Phrases like “I’m a hockey player,” “I’m a runner,” or “I’m a gymnast” become central to who they are. When the sport stops, so does that identity anchor. Many athletes describe this period as feeling untethered — unsure of where to channel their drive and energy.

In psychological terms, this is an identity foreclosure — when one part of the self has dominated for so long that it overshadows all others. Rebuilding a more balanced sense of identity takes time, reflection, and often, grief for the loss of the old one.

💭 The Emotional Hangover

Transitioning out of sports often brings complex emotions: pride for what was accomplished, but also sadness, frustration, and even shame. Some struggle with self-worth when achievements are no longer measured in wins, stats, or medals.

The mind and body crave the structure, goals, and feedback loops sports once provided. Without them, former athletes can experience symptoms that mirror mild withdrawal — mood swings, restlessness, or a loss of motivation.

🌱 Rebuilding Purpose and Routine

One of the best ways to adapt is to transfer skills rather than abandon them. The discipline, focus, teamwork, and resilience that fueled performance are equally powerful in other areas — career, relationships, and personal growth.

Creating new routines can help fill the gap sports once held:

Join a recreational league for fun and connection (without the pressure)
Set physical goals that aren’t about competition — like a local 5K or yoga practice
Volunteer or mentor younger athletes — giving purpose to your experience
Reconnect with what brought you joy before your sport

These aren’t replacements for competition — they’re bridges toward a more integrated identity.

🧠 The Role of Psychological Support

Working with a sport or performance psychologist can help former athletes make sense of this transition. Therapy can provide space to process the loss, explore values beyond performance, and create a new vision for what fulfillment looks like in this next chapter.

If you’re an athlete (or former athlete) struggling with this transition, know this: you haven’t lost who you are — you’re expanding who you are. The same drive that made you great in sport can be the foundation for what comes next.