Thriving Through Positive Psychology: How the PERMA Model Can Boost Your Well-Being

By Dr. Jennifer Grayson | May 24, 2025

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to believe that peace of mind means eliminating all stress. But the truth is, stress is a part of being human. Positive psychology doesn’t aim to erase stress—it helps us build the emotional tools to navigate life with more meaning, resilience, and joy.

At its heart, positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living. Instead of focusing on what's wrong, it invites us to explore our strengths, cultivate joy, and grow from surviving to truly thriving.

One powerful framework from positive psychology is the PERMA model, developed by Dr. Martin Seligman. This model outlines five core elements that support lasting well-being. Let’s take a closer look—and explore simple ways you can begin weaving PERMA into your daily life.

P – Positive Emotion

Feeling good isn't trivial—it’s vital. Experiencing positive emotions like gratitude, hope, and joy helps us broaden our perspective and feel more empowered to take on new challenges.

Try this: Start a simple gratitude practice. Each day, write down one thing (or person) you’re grateful for. A quick note in your phone or a small journal is all it takes.

E – Engagement

This is about being fully absorbed in an activity—what psychologists call a “flow state.” When we’re deeply engaged, our minds are calm, focused, and present.

Try this: Reconnect with a hobby that energizes you. Ask yourself, “What do I notice in myself when I’m doing this?” Let that awareness guide you to more of what fills you up.

R – Relationships

Humans are wired for connection. Strong, healthy relationships are essential to our emotional well-being, helping us buffer stress and feel supported.

Try this: Reach out to someone you care about—just to say hi, share appreciation, or make plans. Ask yourself, “What’s one small thing I can do today to nurture a connection?”

M – Meaning

A meaningful life is one connected to something larger than ourselves. Whether it’s family, community, spirituality, or a cause, meaning helps anchor us through life’s highs and lows.

Try this: Volunteer your time, lend a hand to a friend, or reflect on how your daily work contributes to something bigger. Purpose doesn’t have to be grand—it just needs to matter to you.

A – Accomplishment

Working toward goals—big or small—boosts our confidence and gives us a sense of direction. Accomplishment fuels growth and reminds us that we are capable of change.

Try this: Set a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) that excites you. Celebrate progress along the way—every step counts.

Putting It All Together

The PERMA model isn’t a to-do list—it’s a lens through which to view your life. By intentionally incorporating these five pillars—Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment—you begin to build a life filled with more connection, purpose, and vitality.

Want to explore where you are with the PERMA model?
👉 Take the Self-Scoring PERMA Scale

When Growth Feels Uncomfortable: Why That’s Often a Good Sign

We often talk about growth as if it’s a clean, linear path—like checking off boxes on a to-do list or climbing a staircase to our “best self.” But in reality, growth often feels messy. It’s not always a rush of motivation or a breakthrough moment. Sometimes, it feels like self-doubt, discomfort, or standing still.

And that’s because real growth usually doesn’t look like a glow-up. It looks like resistance. It looks like uncertainty. It looks like being honest with yourself in a way you never have before.

Growth often starts where your comfort ends.

When you begin to challenge old patterns—whether it’s over-accommodating others, avoiding conflict, or ignoring your own needs—it can feel unfamiliar and even wrong. That’s not failure. That’s a nervous system adapting to a new reality. That’s growth.

Here are a few reminders if you’re in the middle of it:

• Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
  It means you’re doing something different.

• Progress is subtle.
  It’s in the pause before reacting. The boundary you hesitated to set, but did anyway. The honest answer you gave instead of defaulting to what felt safe.

• Your growth doesn’t need to be visible to anyone else to be valid.
  Healing is internal first, and the ripple effect comes later.

A journaling prompt to explore:

What’s one part of your life that feels uncomfortable right now—and could that discomfort be signaling growth instead of failure?

Growth isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to yourself—more fully, more honestly, and more compassionately.

Wherever you are in the process, I hope you give yourself permission to take up space in your own evolution.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

What Really Happens in Couples Therapy? A Closer Look at Healing Together

Relationships are one of the most rewarding—and sometimes most challenging—parts of our lives. Whether you’re navigating frequent arguments, recovering from a breach of trust, or feeling like you’ve simply grown apart, couples therapy offers a path forward.

At its core, couples therapy isn’t about deciding who’s “right” or “wrong.” It’s about understanding each other’s emotional worlds and creating a new way of relating. Therapy provides a structured and supportive space to improve communication, deepen emotional intimacy, and rebuild connection.

Here’s what to expect in couples therapy:

1. A Safe Space for Both Partners
   Therapy begins by building trust with each partner. You’ll each have the opportunity to share your perspectives without judgment. My role is not to take sides, but to help both of you feel heard, understood, and supported.

2. Exploring the Patterns Beneath the Conflict
   Many couples find themselves stuck in repeating cycles—where one partner withdraws, the other pursues, or where criticism and defensiveness replace collaboration. We’ll identify those patterns and learn what’s driving them underneath—often unmet needs, emotional injuries, or unspoken fears.

3. Strengthening Your Communication
   We’ll focus on skills that help you speak with clarity and listen with empathy. Using tools from the Gottman Method and emotion-focused strategies, we’ll practice ways to de-escalate conflict, express needs without blame, and respond to each other more gently and effectively.

4. Rebuilding Trust and Connection
   If there’s been betrayal or emotional distance, healing is possible—but it takes time and intention. Therapy helps create new rituals of connection, honest conversations about hurt, and pathways toward forgiveness and repair.

5. Creating a Shared Vision for the Future
   Beyond problem-solving, couples therapy invites you to dream again together. What kind of relationship do you want to build? What values and goals do you want to align around? Therapy can help you reimagine your partnership with a renewed sense of purpose.

Is Couples Therapy Right for You?
Couples therapy isn’t just for couples in crisis. It can also be preventive—a way to strengthen your foundation, deepen your emotional bond, or navigate life transitions together. If you’re ready to move out of survival mode and into connection, therapy is a powerful next step.

Call to Action:
If you and your partner are feeling stuck, disconnected, or simply want to grow together, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Healing doesn’t mean going back to how things were—it means creating something stronger, more resilient, and more meaningful than before.